When it comes to graphics and multimedia, I have years of tricks, techniques and experience from which to draw. I can do something half decent without much effort. But while I have been writing in short bursts for many years (eg. skits, short sketches, etc.) - I have not written anything this lengthy. I really don’t have any tricks to fall back on when writing something like this, so it is definitely work. I have to get in a zone in order to focus enough to be coherent - usually with some Beck or Coldplay running in the background. I am learning a lot about the process, and the further I get into it, the more I think I’m starting to enjoy the actual writing. The challenge is keeping my mind focused enough to keep the story flowing properly. I am trying to use tools that can assist with organizing my thoughts. For example, I’ve been trying some mind-mapping software with limited success. As a visual thinker, I see the scenes in my head as they are to be performed on stage, but without a cohesive plot line, they are just a series of scenes. So, I determined that the best way for me to work is to write the scenes as I see them - in no particular order, then add hooks to connect everything. That’s seeming to work, but I think I will be able to do that most effectively once I have all the scenes written. I still have a few to go.

I am also interested in the idea of adding multimedia to the show. I am writing the script to integrate video, music and lights. We have a programmable lighting system and nice big video screens that will add a cool component. I am hoping to use video as another cast member - which could be cool. It will be nice to be able to add to the story with these familiar tools.

I hope to be done with the script this week. If anyone is going to be in the Plano, TX area in March, please drop by ALC and check out the performance. Stay tuned for specific dates.

Very early in this election season, I was a bit of a Ron Paul supporter. I have another friend (an Obama supporter) who also said back then that she might consider voting for Ron Paul. It’s interesting to see how a few key issues can take someone from being supposedly left wing to extreme right wing - yet they would never consider voting Republican … supposedly somewhere between the two.

I’m not looking to get in a debate based on this post - really. I understand the arguments from both major parties, and I’m really sick of hearing them. But I believe that I may have found a party that I can get behind. Turns out, I may have been a Liberatarian all this time, and I just couldn’t see it. It’s not quite anarchy, but it’s pretty dang close. I know - it just transfers control to the state, but it goes a long way toward getting the government to leave me alone. Plus, they don’t care who marries who, whether I have a gun or not, and while they (supposedly) care about the environment - they think the federal government would just screw up any efforts to preserve it. They are against censorship, they are essential pro-choice (that’s a toughy), and they care about privacy. All of that sounds pretty good to me.

So what do I do now? Do I “throw away my vote”, and vote Liberatarian - or do I try my best to overlook my problems with the two major parties and cast my vote in one of those two directions?

I guess I’d better hurry and figure that out.

What does it mean to be separate? Does it mean that our women wear skirts when everyone else wears pants? Does it mean that I don’t go to sporting events or movies? Does it mean that I isolate myself from the rest of the world? Maybe. Honestly, maybe it does. But I don’t think so.

Could it mean that you behave differently than what one might consider typical? Do you return that $20 bill you saw that person drop without noticing? Does it mean you don’t curse at that driver that cut you off. Does it mean that you show mercy when someone else might take advantage? I think that’s a start. The truth of the matter is that a lot of people behave decently - Christians, athiests, Buddhists, Muslims. So in light of that, what makes us separate? It should be God’s light shining through us. It should be us doing good as a reflection of Him. It should be less judgment and more support. We should be a refuge to those who need it.

I’m really tired of church culture. I hate to generalize, but when something runs rampant and unchecked, it can become twisted and ultimately a distortion of its original intent. We often turn into an arrogant bunch of elitists with a distorted view of the world and the people in it.

I love my church. But I spent my first 8 years not being a part of any church organization. I was allowed to watch Bugs Bunny and Speed Racer, my parents listened to the Beatles, I went roller skating and saw Raiders of the Lost Ark at a theatre, I didn’t feel out of place at family get togethers, and I felt like a normal kid at school (well, sorta). I learned to appreciate that most people out there are good people - whether they label themselves a Christian or not.

When I became a Christian at 8 years old, it was an adjustment, but I thank God that he found my family. I understood the sacrifices we made, and I knew why. It is a part of the journey that transformed my life in a positive way. I thank my parents for bringing me up in a Christian home.

That being said, I don’t regret having a healthy exposure to the culture around me. To this day, I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

I’ll probably have more to say on this, but I’ve gone on long enough for now.

I think it’s probably a good idea to get some of my core beliefs in writing.   You know - to let people know that I actually have some.  Why should you care?  I’ll assume you don’t.  But it’s like putting a public declaration in the classifieds section of the newspaper.  It’s for me.  It’s a written record.  It’s also a way for you to come back and call me out if I change my mind or screw up.  Lucky me.

Maybe I’ll write a mission statement as well in an upcoming post.  Maybe it will be worthy of engraving on a placard or something that I can put on my desk.

I’m going to start out simple.  It may seem random, but it’s a start.

OBS - Part 1

- I believe that the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob - known as Yahweh - is the one true God.  There may be others, but none come before Him.

- I believe that there is no positive version of the afterlife that does not include that God.  I believe that after death, you will be either a) be with God in Heaven, b) be without God in Hell or c) your soul will completely cease to exist.

- I believe in the separation of church and state.  I think this benefits the state, but more importantly, it benefits the church.

- I believe that abortion past a certain stage of development is murder, and should be allowed only in emergency situations.  I do not know what that stage is, so I’ll just leave it at that and thank God that I will never personally have to make that judgement call.

- I believe that gays should be allowed to be legally married in the eyes of the United States government.  The fact that I am personally opposed to the lifestyle, and that it does not conform to my view of biblical marriage, does not mean that gays should not be given the same financial considerations that I enjoy as a citizen.

- I believe that you will certainly go to hell if you watch too much reality tv.

- I believe cussing is ok if it’s after 10 pm and you don’t take the Lord’s name in vain.

- I believe in protecting our borders.

- I believe the war in Iraq was a mistake.

- I believe in the right to bear arms.

- I believe I can fly.

The problem, though, is that it can be tiring (and uncomfortable) to sit on the fence all the time.  It’s not that I simply want to make everyone happy or that I am trying to avoid offending anyone - that’s not it.  It’s just that I believe that most of the time, each side of an argument on religion, politics, life, love,  and the pursuit of happiness is partially based in truth - or is at least well-intentioned.  I also believe that the middle is often the closest to the truth.  The way I see it, I should constantly be able to consider any opposing viewpoint without it threatening my core values.  Admittedly, that can be a little dangerous.  Imagine allowing all spam into you inbox on the off chance that you might find something enlightening.

But here’s the deal.  The old adage that “if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything” has some merit as well.  It may not be what you stand for, but that you stand for something.   I don’t know.  Makes me suspicious.  Right is right, and wrong is wrong.  My opinion and what I choose to integrate into my Official Belief System, is really irrelevant.  After a while, I may begin to confuse my opinions with fact.  Again - dangerous.  But you have to start somewhere.  Maybe I should start to assemble my OBS here on this blog.

Too closeminded or too openminded?

Probably somewhere in the middle…

I finished reading The Shack by William P. Young a few days ago. It is a fictional account of a man (Mack) whose daughter is brutally murdered by a violent pedophile (not a spoiler, it’s on the back cover). But the real story begins when Mack encounters God in a very tangible form 3.5 years later. I was hesitant to read the book because I wasn’t sure I could handle reading about the abduction and murder of the little girl. But while it was indeed difficult, it was worth it.

The book has received a lot of attention from both fans and critics. Reviewers seem to either love it or hate it (tha’s when you know you’ve got something good). Trinitarians believe it is too modalist, while oneness believers find it way too trithiestic. It is certainly unconventional in it’s portrayals of the Father (a motherly black woman), the Son (an easygoing carpenter), and the Holy Ghost (a young Asian woman). But, I have to say that the story was a great blessing to me, and has had a major impact on how I view my relationship with God. It solidified some of the things that I have believed deep down for a long time, but couldn’t put into words.

When I first started reading, I wasn’t very impressed with the writing style - it just wasn’t really my thing. But I kept reading, and as I got further into it, I realized that the style seemed to work well for the content. The book touches on issues of pain, anger, evil and free will - and it doesn’t back down on any of them. You will almost certainly take issue with some of the doctrinal concepts in the book. I think nearly everyone does to some extent. But I encourage you to put down your theological microscope for a day or two, and view this book for what it is - one man’s daydream of what it would be like to confront God face-to-face. I personally didn’t take much issue with the doctrinal approach at all, and I was actually impressed with the attempt to stay true to The Bible - at least conceptually. But I do think it’s important to take it for what it is, and not get too hung up on the doctrine.

Do yourself a favor. Set aside a day or so (it’s a quick read), and see what you think.

A well-respected minister I know once said that SSRI-class (anxiety, depression) drugs are a form of witchcraft . That’s when I decided I didn’t respect him much anymore. Oh well. There are plenty of other ministers I like better anyway.

Anyway. Perspective.

I waste a lot of time because I lose perspective. My anxiety builds when an upcoming event or reaction that I don’t control looms in front of me. The control aspect is key. Some of the most common sources of anxiety don’t give me much of a problem. Speaking or performing in front of people doesn’t really bother me, for instance. My speech or performance is something I completely control, so I don’t sweat it. However, when a (usually human) variable that I can’t predict enters the equation, I worry obessively. How will this person react? Will their reaction put me in an embarrassing position? What if this person doesn’t act rationally? I am extremely sensitive to social dynamics. Events that disrupt normal social interaction are terrifying to me.

Needless to say, I have spent a lot of time worrying in my life. My dad once told me that I should always apply the “what’s the worst that can happen” test. I think about that a lot. So what if they react irrationally - what’s the worst that can happen? So you get fired, lose a friend, or make some stranger mad at you. Big deal. You can get a new job, make new friends, and there are certainly plenty of strangers out there. That was one of the best pieces of advice I ever received. But the thing is, even when I rationalize these things in my head, the anxiety persists. Less so now - due to the aforementioned supplements, but it persists nonetheless.

As much as I try, I can’t always gain perspective of my situation. This is a dangerous condition.

I think we as a church sometimes lose perspective as well. What does God really care about? What does he think of our quibbling over minor doctrinal or holiness intepretations? What does he think about the division amongst the church body. What does he think of our priorities in general?

God, help me step back and learn to recognize what is important — Oh, and by the way, thanks for the pills.

- Are children abused for a reason?
- Are women raped for a reason?
- Did 9/11 happen for a reason?

When you put it in these terms, it can certainly be difficult to accept.

Sure. Lose your job? Get in a wreck? Girlfriend break up with you? It’s quite common for someone, in their attempt to console you, to tell you “not to worry,” and that “everything happens for a reason.”

Certainly, it can be comforting to think that somewhere behind your pain, God had his hand in the whole situation and is, as we speak, preparing the ultimate result which will turn out to benefit someone - or further some plan that you did not foresee. And I believe that in many situations, that is the case. I do think that God’s eye is on us (as it is on the sparrow), and that he knows the outcomes of the decisions we make before we even make them. He sees the big picture that we don’t see, and what looks bad to you may have happened for a reason that either a) will benefit you or someone you love in the long run, or b) will further God’s kingdom.

On the other hand, you might wonder, “How could God do this to me?”

In recent years I have come to consider another theory as to why many things happen in this world. I didn’t make it up, by the way, just because I wish it were so. I didn’t fabricate the concept in order to make myself feel better about the evil in the world. On the contrary, there is much to support the idea I am about to describe. I will tell you right now that this belief can either be comforting or very scary depending on your mindset. Plus, it is widely considered heresy.

Imagine for a minute that God knows everything there is to know. He knows the end from the beginning. He knows the ultimate result. He is fully aware of every possible outcome of every decision that anyone might make, and he has the power to influence these decisions in unimaginable ways. But then imagine that God ultimately gives people true free will. Consider the possibility that he has given us the ability to change our outcomes and to make choices that he can not foresee. Does prayer really change things? Does God ever change his mind? I wholeheartedly believe “yes” to both of those questions.  Yet, if God knows conclusively every decision we will make (will I wear blue today? will I turn my air conditioner on 74 or 75?), do we truly have free will?

Opponents to this concept make this argument: Our having free will does not prevent God from knowing every decision we make and every finite detail of every future event. The fact that He knows does not limit our decision-making abilities.

That is the big question. Does God having exhaustive foreknowledge limit the free will of man?

Some say that logic dictates “yes”, while others say that you cannot conform God to our logic. I understand and acknowledge both points.

There is much debate on this topic within modern theology, but this concept is not new. It has been debated since the days of the early church. Many in today’s church are not aware that such an “open” view even exists. The Calvinist view that God does in fact have exhaustive foreknowledge is very predominant in churches today - to the point that any other view sounds completely foreign to us (or it did to me, anyway). I read a book by Greg Boyd (yep - there he is again) called God of the Possible that made a strong case (in my opinion) for a more open view.

Below are some interesting references I pulled from Wikipedia (”Open Theism” entry) that shows God making dynamic decisions based on the decisions of men/women. I trimmed the list down to hit the highlights.

1. God brought the animals before Adam to see what he would call them. (Gen 2:19)
2. God is uncertain whether they will eat of the Tree of Life after the fall. (Gen 3:22)
3. God repents that he made man. (Gen 6:6)
4. God is prevailed upon by Abraham over whether to spare Sodom. (Gen 18:23-33)
5. God is moved by the cries of injustice (Exo 2:23-25)
6. God agrees with Moses that a backup plan should be prepared. (Exo 4:1-9)
7. God promised those in the Exodus would reach the promise land, but they don’t. (Deut. 1:8; 1:34)
8. God tells Moses He will destroy Israel, but does not. (Exo 32:7-10; Deut 10:10)
9. God tells Moses He will not lead them, but He does (Exo 33:3-19)
10. God wants to destroy Israel again, but is talked out of it (Num 14:11-12)
11. God repents when his sets up people that lead others astray. (Deut. 32:36)
12. God promises to drive out the Canaanites, but doesn’t (Josh 3:10; Judg 2:1-3; Judg 3:1-7)
13. God changes His mind about establishing Eli and his sons forever. (1 Sam 2:30)
14. God repents over making Saul king. (1 Sam 15:10)
15. David believes God can change His mind. (2 Sam 12:21-23)
16. God’s mercy stopped the punishment from completing what He said. (2 Sam 24:16; 2 Chr 21:15)
17. God is full of compassion. (Ps 78:38-40)
18. God is limited by man’s decisions (Ps 78:41)
19. God desires new songs (Ps 33:3; Ps 96:1; Ps 98:1; Ps 144:9; Ps 149:1).
20. Heed my rebuke demands God, or else (Prov 1:22-27).
21. Solomon lists chance as a factor in life. (Ecc 9:11)
22. God tells Hezekiah that he will die, then adds years to his life. (2 Kings 20:1-6)
23. God declares the future, rather than knowing it. (Isa 46:9-11)
24. God predicted Israel would repent, but admits He was wrong. (Jer 3:7-10)
25. Ordaining the sacrificing of children never entered God’s mind (Jer 7:31; Jer 19:5; Jer 32:35)
26. God gets tired of repenting. (Jer 15:6)
27. God promises to repent of what He thought to destroy a repenting people. (Jer 18:7-8)
28. God promises to repent of what He says to promote a backslidden people. (Jer 18:9-10)
29. God is uncertain if the people will repent if they hear his message. (Jer 26:2-3)
30. God is uncertain if the people will repent from a written message. (Jer 36:2-3)
31. God does not willingly bring grief on men. (Lam 3:33)
32. God despises the fatalistic viewpoint. (Eze 18:2)
33. God becomes heartbroken. (Hosea 11:8-9)
34. God sends a drought to influence his people without success (Amos 4:6-11)
35. Nineveh repents and God refuses to fulfill His prophecy. (Jonah 3:10)
36. The will of men and the will of God need to coincide. (John 7:17)
37. Jesus is amazed at the unbelief of Israel. (Mark 6:6)
38. Jesus marveled at the belief of Gentiles (Luke 7:9)
39. They could have believed if Satan hadn’t interfered. (Luke 8:12)
40. Jesus teaches about chance meetings. (Luke 10:31)
41. Bad things happen without a reason. (Luke 13:2-5)
42. God wants to destroy Israel, but Jesus convinces God to wait-and-see. (Luke 13:6-9)
43. Woe! Men are responsible for their own actions. (Luke 17:1)
44. People can resist the Holy Spirit in their lives (Acts 7:51)
45. Love is more important to God than a prophecy. (1 Cor 13:1-13)
46. God changes His mind about keeping the Sabbaths. (Col 2:16)
47. God does not pick one person over another (Gal 2:6)
48. Temptation originates apart from God’s decree but from our own will. (James 1:13-15)
49. There is time in heaven. (Rev 8:1; Rev 6:10; Rev 22:2)

Many say that a concept such as Open Theism does much to limit God and undermine his authority. But supporters disagree. Imagine the might of a God that wants so much to have a relationship with us, that he gives us the ability to reject him. Think of how much more valuable a relationship is if you don’t know every decision the other person will make. Consider how much more prayer means if you know that God really changes his mind based on our petitions. Think of how much more our love might mean to Him knowing that we have the power to freely give it or withold it.

We are in a constant battle in this world. The principalities and powers do much to influence our actions. Our own wills and desires can cause us to do awful things. Is it all part of God’s master plan? Or do people simply make bad decisions that cause bad things? Free will is a two-way street. The same free will that allows people to have a relationship with God also allows people to fly planes into buildings, to abuse, to steal, and to murder.

This is a complex topic, and there’s a lot to it. If you are interested, check out the sites below for supporting and opposing reference materials.

http://www.opentheism.info/

http://www.carm.org/open.htm

http://www.rctr.org/open.htm

http://www.allaboutgod.com/open-theism.htm

It’s too much.

It is during these moments when I realize I can do anything, that I find myself wondering why I’m doing nothing. There are so many things I can be doing, that I need to be doing, and yet sometimes I can’t do anything. I’m bloated with possibilities. I’m stalled. Who would have thought even 20 years ago that the quest for knowledge could become so easy, so mundane and so overwhelming - so much so that it would lose it’s value.

God, with everything that I have available to me, it can be easy to de-prioritize Your role in my life. There will always be more material things that I can attain, and more personal goals that I can achieve. But don’t let me lose my place. Don’t let me lose my focus.

Saturation.

How often have we heard stories about people having a strong prejudice against a person until they really got to know them? I think that is the common theme of many after-school specials, and that general concept is the basis for Morgan Spurlock’s FX show, 30 Days. Nothing new about these issues. Generally this type of thinking is responsible for racism, hate crimes, and most every war that has ever been fought. I don’t really have the patience (or knowledge) to tackle those topics in depth, so I will just focus on some less weighty tendencies that I see in myself.

On the Apostolic Message Board that I frequently frequent (and I do mean frequently), I have gotten to know people on opposite ends of the liberal/conservative spectrum of Oneness Pentecostolism - and everywhere in between. Many of you probably think that is a pretty narrow spectrum, and relatively speaking, you’re probably right. All of it falls pretty firmly into conservative territory in most people’s minds, but to those who contribute, they are universes apart.

I find myself labeling person “A” as a wacky liberal, or person “B” as a crazy conservative. It filters everything that I read from (or about) that person going forward, and influences the conclusions I draw from what they are saying. I don’t know if there is anyway to avoid that, really. But, I feel like I need to try. In movies, it’s common to see what you might call one-dimensional characters. In the Breakfast Club, for instance, you have the jock, the nerd, the princess, the stoner, etc. This is a typical method that writers use to help you quickly identify what to expect from a character. You know that the princess is going to be spoiled and whiny, and that the nerd doesn’t have a girlfriend and is lousy at sports. These devices are often overused and make for very crappy movies. The Breakfast Club ultimately makes a point of rising above these stereotypes by creating 3-dimensional characters.

We are all 3-dimensional people. We have been shaped by what we are taught, what we have seen, and what we have lived. We have complex personalities that dictate our views on society, religion, politics, etc. I need to try to remember that person “A” may have had a very bad experience with a pastor in a church - and is now wary of religious authority figures; person “B” may have grown up with an alcoholic father that never cared what they did - so they appreciate the discipline and structure that comes with a more conservative approach.

Just to be clear, this isn’t a “let’s all get along” speech. I have no intention of ignoring our differences. I may still strongly disagree with some of your idiotic opinions. But, I think it’s about not writing people off. It’s about working with people to achieve common goals. I need to try harder to look past the differences to find the commonality. It’s the only way we’ll ever get anything done.