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June 2008
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Ramblings
The 3rd Dimension.
06.26.08 | Permalink | 2 Comments | 36I’ve touched on this subject before in other posts, but it is something that I encounter every day, so it stays on my mind. I see it a lot in myself, so I thought I’d talk through it. Maybe it’s cultural, or maybe it’s human nature, but I think we have a tendency to categorize people very quickly. If you read my Advocate post, you know that I believe we often group our opinions into “packages”, which in effect does make it easier to allow ourselves to be categorized. But this post is more about how we relate to people and their opinions.
How often have we heard stories about people having a strong prejudice against a person until they really got to know them? I think that is the common theme of many after-school specials, and that general concept is the basis for Morgan Spurlock’s FX show, 30 Days. Nothing new about these issues. Generally this type of thinking is responsible for racism, hate crimes, and most every war that has ever been fought. I don’t really have the patience (or knowledge) to tackle those topics in depth, so I will just focus on some less weighty tendencies that I see in myself.
On the Apostolic Message Board that I frequently frequent (and I do mean frequently), I have gotten to know people on opposite ends of the liberal/conservative spectrum of Oneness Pentecostolism - and everywhere in between. Many of you probably think that is a pretty narrow spectrum, and relatively speaking, you’re probably right. All of it falls pretty firmly into conservative territory in most people’s minds, but to those who contribute, they are universes apart.
I find myself labeling person “A” as a wacky liberal, or person “B” as a crazy conservative. It filters everything that I read from (or about) that person going forward, and influences the conclusions I draw from what they are saying. I don’t know if there is anyway to avoid that, really. But, I feel like I need to try. In movies, it’s common to see what you might call one-dimensional characters. In the Breakfast Club, for instance, you have the jock, the nerd, the princess, the stoner, etc. This is a typical method that writers use to help you quickly identify what to expect from a character. You know that the princess is going to be spoiled and whiny, and that the nerd doesn’t have a girlfriend and is lousy at sports. These devices are often overused and make for very crappy movies. The Breakfast Club ultimately makes a point of rising above these stereotypes by creating 3-dimensional characters.
We are all 3-dimensional people. We have been shaped by what we are taught, what we have seen, and what we have lived. We have complex personalities that dictate our views on society, religion, politics, etc. I need to try to remember that person “A” may have had a very bad experience with a pastor in a church - and is now wary of religious authority figures; person “B” may have grown up with an alcoholic father that never cared what they did - so they appreciate the discipline and structure that comes with a more conservative approach.
Just to be clear, this isn’t a “let’s all get along” speech. I have no intention of ignoring our differences. I may still strongly disagree with some of your idiotic opinions. But, I think it’s about not writing people off. It’s about working with people to achieve common goals. I need to try harder to look past the differences to find the commonality. It’s the only way we’ll ever get anything done.
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Ramblings
Extended Family.
06.23.08 | Permalink | 9 Comments | 90As I was working with some long-time friends (and many new ones) this week to present our church drama, it occurred to me just how important my church family is to me. Some of these people I have been friends with for 20 years. I flipped through a photo album yesterday that reminded me just how much things have changed.
Setting aside the primary function of church for a moment, I feel inclined to comment on the benefits of simply being a member. I have changed jobs several times; I have moved from apartments to homes on the west side of town, and then to the east. I have met many great people outside of church, and have socialized with them from time to time, but the longest running social thread that I have is based on my church family. I cannot emphasize enough just how valuable this has been to me over the years. I think in the ever-changing, busy lives that people lead today, it is unusual to have friendships that last such a long time. People move away, they change jobs, or they simply grow apart with no common thread to keep them together.
I was recently talking to my wife about the benefits of having siblings. She talks about how important her relationships with her brothers are to her, and how she knows that no matter what, she can rely on them. Not to minimize the excellent relationship that I have with my parents, but as an only child, I think that I could have easily felt lacking in this area. However, as a member of a family that transcends where I work or where I live, it almost feels like the same thing. We were there when each other got married, and when marriages fell apart - including my first one. I have shared the happiness of new life events with this family - whether it be a new baby, a new house or a new car. I went into business with a close friend, and when we decided to dissolve the business to move on, we still knew that we would see each other every Sunday and find new projects to collaborate on in the future. Members of the family come and go, but the constantly evolving group always manages to exist. We may not talk much for months at a time - other than a simple handshake or a wave on Sunday morning, but then an event will arise or a project will present itself, and we just pick up where we left off.
We all have our personal lives to live, but just like actual family, these other relationships will be there when we need them. They are family whether we call every week or not. We share the same core values, and always keep that in common. We are happy to see each other succeed, and are there to help when each other stumbles.
We had a OneLife meeting at Gary and Laura’s house last night, and Ben led a discussion about faith. One of the things he talked about that really stuck with me is the concept that faith requires moving in a direction. It’s not about believing something and waiting for God to tell you what to do. It’s about doing your best to decide what seems right, and then relying on God to open doors (or make it obvious) if it is right. One of the examples he mentioned about faith really was very insightful. When you are at your lowest, and you don’t have any faith at all - move forward. Move in a direction that you believe will put you in a place where you can gain more faith or restore faith that you have lost. My immediate thought was this: when everything is crumbling around you, just go to church. Maybe you’re mad at God, and maybe you feel abandoned because you are not getting the answers you expect. But it occurred to me that these people that I call family have kept me close to God. No matter what was happening in my life, I had someone that would not abandon me or turn away from me. No matter where you are in life, that is a start.
To you out there that are a part of my ALC family, I love and appreciate all of you.
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Opinion
Hell in a Handbasket.
06.19.08 | Permalink | 4 Comments | 110I get a lot of my material from that Apostolic message board to which I’m addicted. I truly do have a problem. If I’m away from it for too long, I have to read posts on my Blackberry - just to see what happens next. It’s really getting out of hand. And, usually when I’m done reading and reading and reading and occasionally writing, I am a little depressed and defeated.
So, I hope to stop that soon. Anyway…
For those of you that are unfamiliar with Oneness Pentecostalism, it is historically an organization that adheres to a “holiness standard.” This is a very loaded term and can mean a lot of different things to a lot of people. As such, it is the cause of much discussion amongst those in the organization. For purposes of this post, I am referring primarily to outward displays of “holiness.” At it’s most extreme, you will find women dressed almost exactly like the FLDS women we have all seen on TV for the past several months. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you see people that don’t look any different than those not affiliated with the organization.
Those of you who have visited a message board before know what constitutes a page of discussion. As of right now, a topic titled “Cut or Trimming Hair” has 195 pages of discussion. There are currently 1,945 replies and 18,826 views. The topic was created a mere 6 days ago. Needless to say, this is a hot button issue. The contributors cover a wide range of ages, ethnicity and backgrounds, so it makes for some pretty interesting opinions.
What motivates people to either adhere to these standards or not? I want to say up front that I have a lot of respect for people that discipline themselves to follow any standard that they believe is in line with the Word of God. I am not one to judge the validity of those decisions, and I would be getting into dangerous territory by criticizing people’s convictions. I don’t intend to do that.
One man on the message board, a minister of 40 years, deadpans that there will be no women with trimmed hair in heaven. Now, I do think he says things to get a rise out of people (like myself) who think that such comments are ludicrous, but I have yet to see him concede anything. I do think he is a good man, and he seems to have the respect of most everyone on the board, but I just don’t know how to respond to someone who has that much confidence with so little supporting substance. I don’t understand how somone can be that sure based on the interpretation of a handful of verses that are certainly not that conclusive.
Another man, much younger, also a nice guy, has similar views. He often presents the slippery slope argument, and is quick to back up the minister’s posts.
Filling out the rest of the group are people that generally think you should dress modestly, look your gender, and use common sense with regard to representing yourself in public. Occasionally, you get someone that thinks that anything goes, but most people fall somewhere in between.
So what drives people to come down so hard on an issue like this?
I have a theory.
I believe it is a combination of nostalgia, fear of change, and a need for control. I honestly think that ambiguity makes some people really uncomfortable, and the only way to be able to reconcile that discomfort is to draw a hard line where it may not need to be; to choose an answer when there may not be just one; to take a firm stand well inside safe territory. People that need structure crave order. And people that don’t like change need to attach significance to their reasons for not changing.
Every interpretation of the Bible is just that - an intepretation. I believe that we have no choice, whether we’re comfortable with it or not, but to act on faith. The truth comes later. If it was all that cut and dry, we wouldn’t have as many denominations as we do based on the same Book.
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Ramblings
Respect my Authority.
06.16.08 | Permalink | 2 Comments | 28« Previous EntriesI’m trying to figure out why I have such trouble with authority. Secretly, I think I inherited it from my mother (just kidding, mom). I’m not really a trouble maker, and I don’t think I do anything to outwardly disrespect people, so I guess it’s a fairly harmless thing. I have just never really succeeded at the whole “respect the person who has ‘authority’ over you” mindset. I don’t have a built in respect for teachers, preachers, politicians, senior management, or anyone else for that matter - simply because of the position they hold. Now, that’s not to say that I don’t respect people. But it has nothing to do with whether they are in a position of authority over me. I respect people because I feel like they have earned it. Or, that’s not to say that I don’t have to acknowledge someone’s authority over me. My boss could fire me if I don’t do what he says. But that is not about respect, that’s about obedience. Also, that’s not to say that I shouldn’t always treat people with respect, but that is something I should try to do with anyone I meet - regardless of their position.
I think blind respect is dangerous. I think when you respect someone because of the position they are in, you create a situation where it’s easy to lose sight of whether a leader is making wise decisions.
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